You are not the voice in your head

Today is World Mental Health Day.

The voice in your head is not always right.

You are not the voice in your head.

The things you believe about yourself and the world are most likely coming from external sources that have taught you ideas, values, and norms.

Every family has its unwritten rules, which make you regard certain things as important.

Your neighbors might have very different rules, your colleagues might have very different rules, and your partner might have very different rules.

Over time, you might realize that you think differently from the rules you grew up with. Yet it is not easy to just let go or suddenly stop living according to those rules. And that creates friction in your thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

For example: you learned at home to always consider others (which is a beautiful trait), but you notice that you are losing yourself because of it. You don’t stand up to someone when they cross your boundaries, you don’t express your own opinions because you can understand everyone’s point of view, you don’t know how to communicate in a healthy way, so you suppress your feelings and let things go.

Until it has built up: in your relationship and at work.

You have created an identity for yourself: e.g., the good girl / the kind soul and don’t know how to also be assertive.

You don’t know how to make decisions, take charge, etc. Everyone knows you as you are; you can’t just change overnight.

How should you do that? You don’t know yourself in that way either.

You keep going as you know it because you don’t know how to escape this hamster wheel.

The bucket is almost overflowing now...

Will you keep suppressing it? Burst out? Crash?

Realizing the rules you imposed on yourself (which were handed down through parents/…) and delving deeper into why this is the case can be confronting and enlightening.

Breaking out of that behavior pattern takes time and courage.

Recognizable?

Send me a question or a private message if this resonates with you.

You are not alone, I promise you.